the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Randomize
