You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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