wakey wakey hands off snakey
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
