Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
