And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
