if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
