Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
