we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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