You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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