did you get engaged???
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
