some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
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he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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