Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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