I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Rumble strips road head = magical
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize