How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
