I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Watching her eat just hurts me
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize
