By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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