Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize