If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
