So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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