This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Damn victory sex feels great
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
