True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
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