yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
