i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
