I think my vagina is haunted
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
