the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
