you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
