He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize