Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
