hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Randomize
