I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
