just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
