We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
