do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
