i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
