So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
