i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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