I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
