I think my vagina is haunted
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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