life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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