Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
i believe in u and ur pee
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
