Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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