What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
