are you still at the devil's house?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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