The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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