woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize