it hurts more in the daytime
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Randomize
