i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Randomize
