the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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