omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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