I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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