I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize