Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
you had me at cake vodka
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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