He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
