I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
