if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
