just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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